I don't know how many times I must have said this out loud, to myself or in my head.
Stop the World. I want to Get Off.
Life was too fast. It came at me from all directions and I could never, ever catch my breath.
Since becoming a sole-parent nearly four years ago and re-entering the paid workforce, life has been faster than ever.
Endless days of driving kids from place to place, juggling chores and work and parenting.
I once totalled up the amount of time I spent in my car each week during winter sport season and it came out to more than 20 hours. That's half a full-time job, just on driving.
No wonder I wanted it all to stop.
How many times did I say to my kids, "ONE DAY! JUST ONE DAY is all I want. ONE DAY where I don't have to drive ANYWHERE..."
Well, I got my wish, didn't I?
The world stopped. And for weeks and weeks I have hardly had to drive anywhere.
I've been lucky to be able to keep working my two part-time jobs from home.
I can't say that I haven't enjoyed that. I have.
Slower days with nowhere else to be. The silver lining to the Covid Cloud.
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| It's been lovely being locked down in our gorgeous "new" home (been here for nearly a year now) |
the upside of lockdown
With more time and less rush, I actually almost began enjoying cooking dinner again. I tried new recipes and even baked cinnamon scrolls one time. Where I thought I would hate having to cook every.single.night, I'm now kinda rocking it just a little.Takeaways are back to being a once-a-week treat instead of the way I cope with my endlessly rushing days. I feel good about that.
With just each other for company, I reckon we've grown closer in our little bubble, too. I feel like we are all much better friends than we used to be.
I sometimes catch snippets of conversations between the kids as they talk amongst themselves. It's been heartwarming to know that siblings are having private chats about life...
Scrag had his 12th birthday during lockdown, so we had to try our hardest to give him a special day. He requested a "Mega-Feast" for dinner featuring his favourite oven-baked treats, fizzy drinks and a supermarket layer cake. Instead of presents, he got a basket of treats that could be bought at the supermarket and some vouchers for after lockdown is over.
He reckoned his day was "decent". In Scrag-speak "decent" is good. He's now taller than me and growing like a weed.
When we've had our hard days - because we hit a few very big 'icebergs' along with way - I have loved the way they fiercely offered each other love and support. #bubblebuddies #hamsquad
(One day I hope to write a story about mental health and kids - and the appalling state of our mental health services for young people. One day. When we're through all this.)
Because it's not just me that has been thankful for the lockdown.
I have a number of offspring who battle anxiety.
Pre-lockdown, the fast pace of life and the social pressure to not be 'a weirdo who stays home' was a very real source of stress.
When schools closed and socialising was banned, there was much rejoicing. One child turned to me and said, "Mum, I've been training for this for years..."
Of course my kids have missed their friends - though technology has helped them stay connected.
In Level 4, they also missed being able to go for a late-night McFlurry when insomnia hit - Level 3 has sorted that one out.
But now we are on the verge of returning to something like normal. Next week, schools go back. Sport training starts up again. I'm back working at the Office.
And we aren't ready for that.
I am feeling quite anxious about it all, to be honest. And so are a few of my kids.
My mind starts to race and my heart starts to pound when I think of all the driving, the petrol, the rush to be on time, the daily agony of dragging kids out of bed before their endlessly growing bodies are ready...
So I try not to think about it. That's Future Simone's problem, right?
For now, I am making the most of the slow days, the minimal driving. Trying not to think about how much I'm going to be spending on petrol soon and how much I'm going to miss just being with my bubble buddies doing life at our own snail-like pace.
Anyone else going to miss the slow pace of Lockdown Life?
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