Hello, goodbye and Happy New Year

Hello Twenty-Twelve. Nice to meet you (so far). I have high hopes for you. You bring with you a fresh start, an unsullied canvas. Your new days stretch out in front of me, empty, waiting to be filled.
I know its up to me to fill them well and make the most of each and every one.
Not something I always manage, mind you.

Goodbye Twenty-Eleven. Lets be honest, you were a mixed bag.
I can't say I shed a tear as I counted down to midnight.

There were adventures and blessings, I can't deny that.

I will remember you for the friendships that grew and were strengthened.
I'll reminisce in years to come about the fun times, the laughter, the cuteness of my kids.
Not so fun were the trials. The difficulties. The tests.
But as unwelcome as pain often is, I suspect these were the things that actually made me face up to myself.
Trouble brought me face to face with my blindspots. Darn it.

So now, in brand-new Twenty-Twelve, knowing what I now know about myself, I have a choice.
Do something about it. Or don't.
Stay the same. Or choose to change.
Stagnate. Or grow.
Push myself. Or be a slob forever.

Ah, Twenty-Eleven, thanks for holding up the Mirror of Pressure so I could finally see those nasty pustulous Blindspots of mine.
Thanks for bringing my parents to live in my town. My parents who watched me grow up and who have a different perspective on me than what I do.

So that when I am lamenting over my son's lazy ways, and they laugh and say, "He's just like you were as a kid!" I get the shock of my life.
What? I wasn't the diligent hardworking nerd of my own memory?
Er, no.
I was a chancer who did enough to get by and coasted on my brains and natural ability, not bothering to work hard unless I really had to.
Say WHAAAAT?

Ah reality, how you smash our illusions.
And here I was blaming depression for my lazy slob ways.
Not so. Seems I've been a follower of my feelings from birth.

{grateful for this insight into my couch-dwelling self}

Now what will I do with this insight into myself?
Can I use it to actually *gasp* do stuff I don't feel like doing?
Like maybe exercising to shift some of this middle-age spread, which seems to be spreading out of control (darn you Lindt chocolates in my Christmas stocking).

Whether I feel like it or not, that's what I need to do.
Take control of my health and wellbeing, my time and my timetable...
Just. Do. It.

I need to shift ten kilos.
To do this I need to make exercise and physical activity a part of my everyday. As well as ditching the Lindt balls.
That's for starters.

Call it a New Years Resolution if you want.

New Years Eve: Hello Goodbye
We saw in the new year with a bunch of friends and their kids. Really too many for an indoor party. This became apparent as the rain poured down and my stress levels rose higher and higher as I imagined all of us inside, kids bouncing off the walls in the sticky humidity.
OK, I admit it, I had a meltdown at the thought of it. Mr G sat on the end of my bed as I sniffed and snivelled, "I just don't want to have a panic attack in front of everyone if the noise and the crowds get too much!"

My wise husband said, Lets pray. So we did. Please God either let some people cancel or stop the rain.
Guess what? The rain stopped. After three days of continuous wet stuff, the sun came out.
It was my own New Year Miracle. And guess what else?
Just after the last guests left, it started raining again. I swear its true.

{grateful for my New Year's Eve Miracle}

Dear Friends: Hello, Goodbye
We got to spend New Year's Eve with Gail. For two weeks I got to hang out with her and her sweet family as they returned briefly from China. Miss Fab got to hang out with her dear friend-since-babyhood, Miss Marvellous.

They flew out this morning, early. Back to China until April.
Last night found me crying (again). I miss my friend even more now that I've been reminded how awesome she is.

{grateful for my awesome friend}

I'm just glad that time is racing by so fast these days. April will be here before we know it.

Floating Lantern, New Years Eve

Righto, now I've written my "Welcoming in the new year" post,  I'm back off to the couch.
But don't worry, I haven't been on it all day. Amazingly, this lazy slob-bottom has actually been out on her bike today.
I said to a whingeing bored Miss Fab, come on, lets go for a bike ride.
And off we went. Had a great time together.
The first of many mummy-Fab bike rides I'm sure.

{grateful for having a bike, and a daughter}

I made no resolution. I'm just going to do it.
And maybe when I go to the airport to welcome my friend Gail back in April... it will be a slimmer, healthier me that she'll be hugging.
I hope so. Now watch me make it so.

Grateful for a Fresh New Year,