It's a Cat's Life

by Dave the Cat

Meow.
That's how we say hello in Cat-ese.
It's Dave here, Dave the cat.
Surprised? You should be.
Not many moggies are as computer-literate as I am.
I have spent hours pretending to laze in the sun while my owner tapped away on this machine. I learnt her tricks and now I am ready to take over the world...

Hahaha. Meow.
That was just a little Cat Humour. As if we Cats have plans to take over the world!!!!
We are far too lazy.

So. This machine is abandoned while my owner is away.
It sits gathering dust. The other humans who are feeding me don't seem to know what to do with it.
But I must say that while they are here it is so peaceful.
For once there is no banging, stomping or slamming of doors.
No screaming, yelling, squabbling or crying.
No need for me to run as soon as I see that little one - the one with the cheeky grin.
Yeoooow, but he can pull a cat's tail hard.
I learnt that the hard way.
Now when I see him coming, I scamper before he gets the chance to chase me.

I found a safe place up on the neighbour's roof.
I use my claws to climb up the cabbage tree; from there it's an easy leap from the fence to the roof.
Up on the roof I can take note of the comings and goings, enjoy the view undisturbed.
When things get crazy down below, I come up here where the air is clear and all I can hear is the birdies tweeting.

I do sometimes wonder what I was thinking when I chose this family to adopt.
Sitting on their back step for four days, urging them with my big soft eyes to "feed me! love me! take me in!" I got a pretty good view of what life would be like with them.
Noisy. Chaotic. At times Perilous {they do have small children, after all}

I mean, I could have hung around that old lady's back door, the one with the peaceful roof.
She probably would have fed me tuna and milk, not that crunchy stuff this lot feeds me.
She would never have pulled my tail or chased me or tried to dress me up like a doll.
And I'll bet she would have given me a better name than Dave.
Dave!! Come on!
I'm a female cat for yowling out loud!
At least I was. I know I once had girlie bits before that trip to the vet, but now I'm just confused.
Surely they could have thought up a better name than Dave, though.
Even Fluffy would have been preferrable. Or Stripes. Mog. Or Betty.
But I'm stuck with Dave. And I'm used to it, I guess.
The same way I am used to the noise, the shouting, the chasing.

I mean, I could always leave, I do have a choice.
I thought about it once; in fact I actually did leave at one point.
I got as far as the end of the street and it started raining. So I slept the night in a box and didn't wake up til dinner time the next day.

When I turned up there was so much excitement. Those short humans all came running, though the Daddy with the deep voice did not look too impressed. Apparently I had interrupted some kind of celebration and he was a bit miffed.
He said, "Great. Upstaged on my birthday by a Cat. Twice."

I don't really know what he meant by that, but I think he forgave me pretty fast.
All it took was for me to jump up on his lap and start purring. He's really a big softie, that one.
Loud and boomy his voice may be, but his heart is as soft as a road-kill sparrow's guts.

So, here I am wondering where my noisy humans have gone to. They left those silver-haired ones here to look after the place; they feed me and let me sleep in the sun, and really don't disturb me.
Its very peaceful round here, as I said.
Peaceful... but a little boring.
I'm starting to miss my noisy humans and wonder when they'll be back. Even that little one.
Running from him is about all the exercise I get these days, now that I have my own family and guaranteed food. Even if it is that boring crunchy stuff.

So yeah, I don't regret choosing these noisy humans for my family.
They're a bit crazy, but that's fine by me... after all a female cat called Dave who climbs trees and writes blog posts is crazy enough to fit right in.