If Consistency is the Key to Good Parenting, I'm Stuffed.

Every parenting expert says the same thing.
Whatever the technique they are expounding, the key to everything seems to be consistency.

Consistency.
The one bloddy thing I am completely crap at.
Why couldn't the key to raising great kids be, "hosting great parties" or "feeding them regularly" or something I could actually do.
But no.
It has to go and be Consistency.
The one thing in life that seems forever beyond my grasp.

Trying to be consistent is for me, like trying to grasp a slithering eel. Nigh on impossible.
I'm a great starter upper. I'm an ideas person.
If you are stuck for inspiration, come talk to me.
Ideas will bubble forth like oil from a Texas gusher.
I do great on projects. I come up with great schemes.
But whatever you do don't ask me to maintain any of my innovations.
Once I get past the start-up phase I will lose interest and become completely bored with the day-to-day running of whatever great operation I've cooked up.
It's just the way I am, the way I'm wired, so to speak.

Unfortunately this tendency spills over into my parenting.
Oh I have great ideas. I get all inspired and motivated.
I re-organise, re-decorate, re-prioritise.
I create tick-charts and to-do lists and all kinds of things...
Ways to get the kids eating their fruit and veges.
Ways to get the kids cleaning their teeth or their rooms.
Ways to make lazy boys do homework, thumb-suckers stop sucking, nappy-wearers start toileting.
Ways to encourage kindness, stamp out squabbling.
Stickers and stamps, reward jars, pocket money.
Time out, confiscation, grounding and banning.

I try every trick in the book in an effort to raise decent humans.
Believe me.

But then I get distracted. Side-tracked. Busy.
I forget to tick charts, pay pocket money, hand out rewards.
I revert to nagging and scolding, warning and promising.
Empty words.
Gah!!! Consistency, where were you when character traits were issued?
Come on, stickability! Where are you when I need you?

I am growing nervous.
My eldest child is a few months off Nine.
And you know what comes after Nine. Double Digits, that's what.
Then its all over bar the shouting as the race to puberty begins and the teenage years loom large.
How did this happen? Where did the time go?
I thought I'd have plenty of time to practise my parenting skills before things got serious.
I'm still unprepared, still figuring out the basics, still trying to find a plan that works!

Oh its so confusing these days!
When my parents were raising my siblings and I, things were so much simpler.
"Do it now because I said so, or else...!" And we did.
"Go to your room and wait til your father gets home!" And we did.
"Go and bring me the wooden spoon..." And we did.

Not that I'm advocating smacking. No, I am sure that we are so much more enlightened now.
But I tell you what, I never spoke to my parents the way my kids speak to me at times.
I was obedient. I helped with chores. I did my homework without being told. And I never ever answered back.

So while I am glad that we as a society have moved on from the bad old days of "My Way or the Highway" parenting, in some ways I am envious of the simplicity of those Stone Age Times.
When there was A Way Things Were Done.
Parents were not constantly second-guessing themselves and trying to figure out how to get their kids to cooperate, behave, and grow up without becoming delinquents.
My parents were so confident in their role.
They never once apologised for mistakes they made. Not that I think that was a good thing, at all.
But that's how confident they were in what they were doing.

Me? I am a confused mess of guilt and anxiety; dreading my son hitting the next level.
Worrying that he is ill-equipped, not strong-enough to withstand peer pressure.

I'm scared that I have not yet found the right way to parent.
And most of all I am hoping against hope that if I do manage to find that elusive perfect parenting plan, it won't turn out to be something that is dependent on me being consistent at it.
Which is highly unlikely.

........................
{Am I alone in this? Can I hear from any parents who have seen their kids through the teenage years... how consistent do you really have to be and what worked for you? What was the most important ingredient in raising great adults? PS If you say "Consistency" I might cry}  


How consistent are you on a scale of 1-10: with 1 being pretty rubbish at it like me, and 10 being absolutely consistent without fail...?


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