Kids Say the Darndest Things

I get a huge kick out of the funny things my kids blurt out.
Like this morning.
Miss Fab calls out to me from the loo, "Hey mum do you know what you call your bottom if you don't want to be rude?"
"No, what?"
"Your gluteous maximus. Yeah. That's what the Queen calls it..."

Snort. I just had to record that one for "posterity".

Too many other gems have been forgotten forever; what i need is a notebook and pen with me at all times to jot them down.

Like the other day sitting at the dinner table.
Dash looks at my bare ring finger (bare because the ring had irritated the skin) and says to me:
"Mum you really should wear your wedding ring you know. Some other man might look at your finger and think you're not married and he might go, 'Oh hello hot mama' and then you'd be in trouble..."
I kid you not. That's what he said.

Scrag is the one who cracks us up on a regular basis. Its the combination of beginner English, a cute lisp and his winning chuckle that does it.
Almost every day we find ourselves cracking up at something he says.

Day One:
SCRAG: Mummy you my best friend, I wuv you.
MUMMY: Awww I love you too!

Day Two: 
SCRAG: Mummy I not wanta be your best friend now I need a new friend...!
MUMMY: :(

One morning we awake to find a wriggling body jammed in between us, knees in back; elbow in neck.
Through sleep-crusted eyes we make out a grinning entertainer.
"Wanna hear a storwy?" he asks.
"Mmmmmgrrrmmmm..." we mutter. He takes that as an enthusiastic yes.
"We going on Dod hunt..." he begins.
"A Dod hunt? Huh? Isn't it a Bear Hunt?"
"No a Doooohd hunt!"
"Oh a God hunt!"
"Yeah, we going on a Dod hunt, we not scared... we can't go under it we can't go round it we have to go through it..."
??!!!

Ahhh, but the best of them escape me.
I am squeezing out the corners of my sluggish brain trying to shake loose the memories of the best Scrag stories. I am drawing a blank.
Gah.

Really, I wish you could hear this guy.
And see him dancing. What a groover.
From now on I really should carry that notebook. Or maybe a video camera...?

What are some of the funny things your kids have come out with?