Introverts and Extroverts

Picture the Introvert.
Call up his face in your mind.
What do you see? A pale, thin, knock-kneed, spectacle wearing stammerer huddled in the corner over his book?

Would it surprise you to know that I am an introvert?
OK, so at one point I actually was a pale thin spectacle wearing shy-girl huddled in the corner over my book... but these days it might not be so easy to pick me out as the introverted type.



My Public Speaking Days...


I'm friendly and inclusive and have plenty of friends. I chat and laugh, I can be silly. I get dressed up and don't mind making a fool of myself. I've done plenty of public speaking. I bare my soul to the world on a regular basis.

How can I say that I am an introvert if I can be outgoing, friendly and socially confident?

Because introversion and extroversion have nothing to do with whether you are friendly or not.
Its about where you get your emotional energy. What drains that energy and what replenishes it.

Introverts get their energy from alone time. Or from time one-on-one with a friend. Being in crowds drains us. Social contact drains us. We might enjoy it... but afterwards we need to get away somewhere quiet to get re-energised.

Extroverts are the opposite. Extroverts are energised by people contact. Socialising re-charges their emotional batteries. People-contact is to an extrovert what water is to a fish.
They need it. Too much alone time drains them.

Introverts are the minority in our family.
My husband is a raging extrovert, a life-of-the-party type.
Two of our three kids take after him. Miss Fab and Scrag are people-people to the max.

Miss Fab gets twitchy if she has to spend too much time alone.
She needs social contact. Being surrounded by people energises her, revitalises her.
She comes home from school hungry for more.

Dash on the other hand, he takes after me. A friendly introvert.
He makes friends easily and mixes well. He's likable and outgoing, not shy in the least.
But. After a day of people contact at school he needs down time.
The days when there is football practise straight after school...? High possibility of a meltdown unless he gets some time to himself.

He loved the idea of sharing a room with Scrag. But after a few months the reality set in. No alone time.
He needs the ability to close the door and be with himself after a peopled-out day.
So he decided he'd rather have the smallest room in the house to himself, than share a large room with his brother.
Its no bigger than a cupboard but it's all his. And it has a door.

It really helps as a parent to know how my kids are wired. I know that I need to provide Dash with down time or he will fall apart. I know I need to provide Miss Fab with lots of opportunity for playing with others or she will erupt. And Scrag...? Scrag becomes destructive if left in his own company for too long.
It helps to know this about my kids! I can avert disaster far more easily.


Click here for the full Personality Test



So what about you...? Are you an introvert... or an extrovert?
{and how about those kids of yours?}