Is it MAD?

I really should be curled up in bed.
The house is silent (except for the rumble of a purring cat).
Kids asleep (it's late Autumn but one of them is sleeping with the fan on. Go figure).
I am full to the brim with banoffie pie and warm fuzzies after coffee with two of my favourite girlies.
And waiting for me on my nightstand is my new book.
Water for Elephants.
*squeal*

So with hubby still out and the house to myself, what am I doing sitting here at the computer typing away, with no clear purpose, no brilliant witticisms or observations to impart?

Today I nearly wrote a post called "The Laziest Mother I Know."

It was going to be about me and all my shortcomings.

When I'm on a downer I tend to want to bare it all to complete strangers, just so I feel honest.

And I'm kind of on a downer right now, in spite of all the nice things.

And it happens quite regularly; say monthly?
Yep round about the beginning of each month I find myself crying at nothing and everything.
I know some people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) but I wonder if there's anything called Monthly Affective Disorder (MAD) - cos I think I have it.

Yep, that ole dog Depression rears its head with monotonous regularity when *ahem* it's that time of the month.

Today I cried over silly things like a trip to the post office, ants in the cupboard, mess on the floor.
I cried because I am hopeless at doing homework with the kids, playing games with my toddler... I was feeling like the worst kind of mother, good only for birthday parties and taking photos. And I am pretty good at book-snuggling, I guess.

When I am low, I crave affirmation. So then I'll start doing silly things like writing posts every day in the hopes that I will inspire more encouraging comments (love me! my insecurities scream)
... and eventually it could even result in a self-indulgent nonsense like this post.
Oops.

Righto. It's clearly time I was in bed with my new book.
I hear it's really good. That should help.

♥