Random Deepness

Watch out my friends, here comes a whole bunch of random things I've been chewing on lately... I hope you are ready for some deepness. After all in my world, today is Sunday...

Deep Thoughts from the Counselor Guy
The Power of Surrender. My counselor talked about the amazing freedom that comes when we learn to let go. Anxiety (which I struggle with) and the need to control are the exact opposite of this.

My counselor is not a churchy-guy, just a regular garden-variety psychotherapist. Funny how so much of the wisdom he speaks reminds me of things I've read in the Bible.



Deep Thoughts at Breakfast
Sitting at a women's breakfast yesterday, I was chatting to my lovely beautiful amazing cleaner (I love her. She is so gorgeous. And not just cos she scrubs the scum off my shower and mops my crumby floors...)

She said to me, "Simone, if I said Paul, what would that mean to you???"
Hmmmm. At first nothing. Then she asked me, what are your dreams?
I told her, well it's not something I've really thought about much for the last few years, been kind of running the other way since all that burn-out stuff. Then I heard myself saying... "Actually I love that thing Paul wrote about his Thorn...PAUL!!"

You see folks my favourite scripture happens to be Paul the Apostle talking about his "thorn" (some kind of weakness he had) and pleading with God for him to take it away (I relate, Paul. I've got my own thorn too).
God doesn't take away his thorn, but says to him, "My grace is sufficient for you. My power shows up best in weak people..." Story of my life. Yep. PAUL.

And then lightbulb!! Paul was a writer! He was locked up in a jail cell for many years which is when he wrote his letters. Me, I want to be a writer. The depression and anxiety limit me from doing many other things and yet I am free to write. Seems like Paul has a whole lot to say to me.

Wow my lovely Cleaner-girl. Thanks for your insight. You know who you are. I love you to bits.



Deep Thoughts in a Song
We sung this beautiful song at church this morning. I just had to find it on YouTube and share it with you all. It speaks to me big-time, because God is my Hope. My counselor talks about spending the next two years in psychotherapy and the need to change my meds to a better one (I tried to wean off, it was too hard). But I have Someone who can mend a broken piece of my heart with a word.

You know that saying: "The Truth shall make you free"?? Well it's true. When I hear/feel God speak his truth in my heart, a little broken piece gets mended. Piece by piece he can do it. Yes it takes time. Yes its a process. But He can do it. If I look to Him.



Hope of All Hearts (lyrics that spoke to me)

Praise in the morning, Praise in the evening
Praise when I'm laughing, Praise when I'm grieving
There will be dancing There will be singing Upon injustice
we will tell of our God


The hope of all hearts, The hope of all hearts is You
Your love never fails, Your love never fails


In darkness, In trial, my soul shall sing
Of his mercy and kindness, our offering
Of praise


Our God never fails
Our God never fails




Deep Thoughts in Church
Finally, finally the icing on the cake. The message this morning from our wonderful Pastor Bruce. He is so wise. Man that guy is real. He has lived it, is living it still.
Everything he said rang bells with me.
He talked about our Soul. Being "well in our Soul", and all that entails.
He talked about building up the walls around our heart. The walls of security that tell us who we are, that let us feel good about ourselves and know that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made".

He talked about being Authentic, not plastic.
Not just believing in God.
Not making a Noise on a Sunday (and living a life empty of God the rest of the week) but living an authentic life where we are real, and our lives make a Sound that matches up to what we say we believe.
Not just being friendly (and walking away), but offering friendship.

He challenged us, what Sound does our life make?
(even, what Sound do our facebook updates make?!! Hmmm...)

He said he's not talking about being perfect but being humble and real about where we are at. Asking God for his help, his mercy where we struggle, where our Walls are broken down.
Oh here comes that word again... surrender.



Wow. After months of silence, after a desert wasteland of dry un-spiritualness, in one weekend I am flooded with deep thoughts. There was more, but I don't want to rave on and on... oops. Too late.

Anyway. I'm inspired to let go. To ask for help. To take my anxious thoughts and worries and send them off up to the One who is the Hope of all {broken weak fearful anxious} hearts, mine included.

I wouldn't have a hope of remembering all this unless I wrote it all down. So that's what I've done. Hope you liked it.