Your good friend is having a birthday party for her daughter. This child is a special friend of your daughter's. I'm talking close. Best Buds. Kindred spirits almost.
As the birthday falls on Halloween, that's the theme your friend has chosen. You are a somewhat conservative Christian; your friend is not a churchgoer, but is a wonderful person and you highly value her friendship.
In your family you don't acknowledge (let alone celebrate) Halloween. It's dark history and symbols of witches and ghosts etc go against your beliefs and values.
When you hear the theme for the party your heart sinks. Your husband thinks it's a no-brainer: No way is your kid going to the party, he says. You'll have to find a way to explain it to your friend.
But you are torn. Your lay awake at night trying to figure out what to do, what to say.
Do you...
- Stand staunch and refuse to let your kid go to the party (risking hurting and offending your friend whom you care about very much)
- Explain to your friend your reasons and hope she understands
- Explain to your child why she can't attend her best friend's birthday party and hope she understands
- Ask if you can take the birthday child out on another day (somewhere special to celebrate her birthday) so she doesn't miss celebrating with her friend
- Let your child attend the party (but not the trick-or-treat part?); let her dress as something "nice" like a Princess
- As well as (5) explain to your child your family's beliefs about Halloween; allow her to attend the party but stay with her (after you've convinced your husband)
- Plan a trip to visit the Grandparents that weekend to avoid any awkward explanations
- What's the big problem?? Send the kid! It's only a party and it's all in fun
I know there are a range of views out there, even amongst Christians. Some deeply committed Christians have no problem with Halloween as they see it as just a harmless bit of fun and far removed from its Pagan roots. Also it something of a cultural thing - Halloween is a big thing in America, but is relatively new here.
Christian readers, what would you do??
Non-churched readers... if you were the one throwing the party, how would you feel if your Christian friend said her daughter couldn't attend because of their family's beliefs?? Would it affect your friendship with that person? Would you feel judged? Or would you understand and respect their opinion?
I would love to hear your thoughts...