I love it when my kids ask me questions about the big stuff of life. Yesterday was a cracker. Miss Fab and I were having breakfast; the conversation went something like this...
Miss Fab: Mum, I know about what you do with rubbish. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!
Me: Wow, that's good!
Miss Fab: Yes, you put it in a machine and then the machine makes it something new and then you give it to somebody...
Me: Wow, you are clever...
Miss Fab: Mum how do you make stuff?
Me: What kind of stuff??
Miss Fab: You know... stuff!
Me: Do you mean houses, cars, trees, animals, p
eople....?Miss Fab: Yeah, how do you make that kind of stuff?
Me: Well lots of stuff comes from seeds, you know, God puts the life in the seeds and then...
Miss Fab: Oooh, I know about this! We put it in the ground and then we water it and it grows...
Me: Yes and...
Miss Fab: But what about babies? How do you get a baby in your tummy, mum?"
Me (a long pause, thinking thinking... what do I tell her??): Well, babies come from like a seed too...
Miss Fab: No they don't! Babies don't come from seeds!
Me: Well, kind-of seeds, a bit more like a little egg that grows inside the mummy...
Miss Fab: But how do they get there?
Me (oh boy): Um, well the daddies put them there...
Miss Fab (giggling): No they don't, silly! Daddies don't have seeds inside them! And anyway, how do they put them in the mummies??
Me (Veeeryyy long pause, oh boy oh boy): Um they sort of get there when they snuggle...?
Miss Fab (Laughing happily and skipping off): Ohh, thanks mum!
Oh boy, I don't want to be the Queen of Disinformation, but I think the tender age of Four is just a teensy bit young for the bare facts of life! I figure I'll keep it blurry round the edges and add more detail as she gets older. This is uncharted territory! I don't remember asking my parents these kinds of questions this young??!! How about you?
What, when and how do you tell your kids about the Facts of Life?
8 comments:
haha - soooo funny! I was just getting advise on this the other day... a lady told me that often they are quite happy with just the general info. I think you did really well - she seemed satisfied with your answer (rather you than me!!).
I am definitely not looking forward to that. I'm still my kids that they came out of my belly button...and my oldest son is 10!!
Here's where parenting gets mine field-ish! With my girls, I have always let them set their own pace for information. They go through the blurry phase from about 3-4until about 8-ish about which time they look piercingly through your flimsy fob-offs and sense the intrigue of SOMETHING BIGGER, and the lack of logic with our stories. When they asked, we told using the funnel system - each stage they asked, they got a little more explicit information. Once they are old enough to "get it", they kinda wish they hadn't asked! Our thought is, if age appropriate, to get in first with your values and belief system before playground chat and school health set the stage of their mindsets. We tell them it is a precious, precious gift of life and love. Very occasionally if I do not feel the maturity level in the younger (listening) child matches with the question of the older one, I just simply say "those are things I will spend time talking to you about when you are of an age that you need to know." End of story. You are right on track - info as they understand it, and a sense of humour and a kettle nearby to make the restorative post-conversation cup of tea.
oooh good answer. I remember (my mum totally doesn't remember telling me this) that Mum told me I grew from a little red dot in her tummy! And that's what I believed for ages... well until biology class and Jeremy Ellis explained the birds and the bees to Sharon Self and I round the back of our house. Mum was listening through the windows of the bedroom and made harumphing noises when he started getting too detailed. Can't remember what he said!!
Have managed to effectively dodge this one for now.... but remember Becs had a book for it on her blog at one stage....
Haha very cute! Yeah I just gave little bits and pieces of info for years...until the oldest two reached the age where I realised they were hearing stuff from school friends...and I wanted to get in first. The book a great openner...
Love the photo of you and Abby at the top! Gorgeous
Oh my that is sooooo cute! I'm sure it was an awkward moment though. I wouldn't know what to do if I were in that situation! I think you did just fine!
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